Aplace

I'm a lawyer, baby

...so why don't you kill me? No, no please don't. but yes yours truly is now called to the Bar of the province of Ontario. I mean I can totally coast on that for the next little while, right? I think this buys me at least two years of stalled personal growth.

I was hoping to have great insights to share with you today about justice but alas they only give you a piece of paper, no extra wisdom or anything. Actually, it was v. anti-climactic. All that run-up leads to  about 30 seconds of hand-shaking and bowing and then pfft ! c'est fini.

Thank You, fair reader, for having been there every step of the way

Ferd, LL.B.

Congratulations to me. I may not be a lawyer yet (7 exams, 3 months of classes, and 10 months of articling currently stand between me and that particular honour) but I am a Bachelor of Laws. Woot.

Achievements over the last hour

well, none really unless you count listening to Bizarre Love Triangle seven times an achievement. I've also read 3 sections of the Competition Act but since I can't actually remember their content, I won't file that under the heading of achievement. I think my whole scholastic career can be summed up by the fact that at this hour, this site is a top 10 result if you use the search term "f*** law school."

Classy.

It's the most horrible time of the year

Actually, no. The most horrible time of the year would be the Christmas-New Year's period. Nothing to do, stuck indoors with my mom and/or various loony tunes relatives and pondering my dramatically reduced bank balance as it teeters over the brink to overdraftville.

Exams run a close second though, although I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune six months from now. Even though in exchange for one richly deserved hour of sleep, the sun will be up super late today, I won't see it since currently I'm toiling in the sixth circle of hell aka the Douglas Library sub-basement. Secured Transactions...*so* interesting.

Okay, some guy sitting like seventeen bajillion rows away from me just asked me to keep an eye on his computer, except I don't have my glasses on so I can't even *see* his computer... I see this vaguely rectangular square object in the distance, which I assume to be his laptop but who can tell? Meanwhile, there's a guy sitting between the rectangular object and me, so that everytime I look up to check that someone isn't jacking the rectangular object, I catch his eye. At first he seemed alarmed, but now it looks like he is trying to gently tell me he's not interested with his eyes. Don't flatter yourself, sir. Of course, sans glasses I could have misconstrued the entire situation. This could get awkward... sigh... like I said, horrible...

Formal

Photo courtesy D. Thurairajah

The evening started off with a bang and ended with four poor souls hobbling back to my house in the freezing cold Kingston weather but, in between, good times were had. It was lovely to see everyone all cleaned up and in one place at one time. I really appreciated that saying that everyone is beautiful when they're young. So true. The music was lovely, my meal was wonderful and the liquor was flowing like the Saint-Lawrence river we were only a few short miles away from. I did get misty eyed at the notion that 90% of these people, I will never see again. We'll always have Kingston..

The prom I never had

My prom didn't suck actually. I stayed out all night which was remarkable at the time. I had a dress I loved (but hate now and actually donated to this "prom dresses for disadvantaged girls" program at my old high school. Some other misguided girl can have a nice night then eventually come to her senses) Still, I can't help but feel that the law school formal (t minus 7 days) will be 10 times better.

For a start, I have an awesome table. I love my dress *and* can imagine my thirty year-old self wearing it not against her will. And of course, I ordered the fish dish which I'm convinced will rock. It better given the cost. I'm also going to do all the stuff my mom said was silly when I was sixteen. I'm getting a manicure and maybe will get my makeup done. Although, I suspect a visit to any makeup counter will result in one of those patented awkward Kingston greetings: "We don't get too many African-Canadians *shudder* around here" and result in me getting a step-below-Bozo face painting. One can only dream.

I've been walking around with my articling contract for about two weeks now and haven't sent it in. Today. Right now!

Bad Fred!

It's true I haven't been posting but I've had a fairly crazy day. Today was the first day of the law journal conference, Making Connections. Check out our super-duper hi-tech website. Everyone loves it! I guess I'm the only html snob on the organizing committee. I haven't mentioned the conference so much in this space because I have the most boring job ever: finance. I'm actually in charge of keeping track of the cheques that came in today. I didn't have the heart to tell my editor-in-chief how spectacularly unwise an idea that was, i.e. the cheques are currently resting on a garbage bag in my room.

It's actually been great fun to meet people from all over the country (all the way from BC). I was able to avoid embarassing myself at the cocktail party by manning (personing?) the registration booth instead. Everyone was all: "Fred, what a trouper!" and I didn't disabuse them of the notion. We had a phenomenal keynote by Jean Leclair, of Université de Montréal, one of the country's foremost constitutional scholars. Definitely in the top 5 of talks that I've heard at Queen's. Smart (insightful references to Wittgenstein and Posner abounded) but funny (i.e. a paper titled "You make me (sic): Confessions of a Law Journal Editor"). Okay, so not funny to 99% of the planet but he killed with this particular crowd tonight.

I am currently skipping the night out at the bar because I was up late last night. The Firm took all of next year's articling students to dinner where 90% of the partners and students proceeded to get rip-roaring drunk. It was interesting... One of the partners whom I never spoke to *kissed* the girl students goodbye. He just walked over and planted one on our foreheads. The food was delicious though. I highly recommend the lobster curry pizza if you go to Woodenheads in Kingston. Anyway, like I said, interesting.

But I hate the smell of smoke in my hair

Item #20023211 in "the-disturbing-things-I-have-learned-from-law-school" file: According to testimony of a police officer in one of the cases we are reading in my Criminal Procedure class, every single phone in the downtown area of Montreal is tapped by the Sureté (or at least was until this disturbing little tidbit of news came to light!) Of course, I've never been involved in criminal activity (knock wood) but I'm still appalled that this  would occur. First, because of all the blatant violation of privacy questions, but also because I just think of how stultifyingly boring it must be for whoever is in charge of listening to all those tapes of pointless conversations. If all my pay phone conversations were strung together in a loop they would just be an endless loop of: "Can I have a taxi-I'm going to be late-Where are you, you're late-Mom, shut up-Did  I forget my wallet?"-style ramblings. Anyways word to the wise if you're visiting Montreal, use your cell phone. Or not: Big Brother's probably pirating your signal. Smoke signals. I guess.

Life is an unbroken succession of false moments

That my friends, is the "inspirational" quote of the day on the law library bulletin board today. And then they wonder why there is such a high incidence of depression among law students. Actually, my day was going fine before the double buzzkill of that quote and the actual state of being in the law library. I have a lot of work left to do for my moot and I can't possibly finish it all by Saturday. Still, I manage to find time to deal with such pressing concerns like downloading episodes of "Fraggle Rock" and going to see "Coach Carter" (although, people, I cried. Very "Remember the Titans-esque" except for the surprisingly pro-choice abortion subplot). Yesterday, Deanna was saying there's no sense even trying to do the work if you're not in the "mood." That made total sense to me which I think is symptomatic of my "problem." Anyways, enough of my ramblings. Tonight, we go out for Samson and Helena's birthday. Good times await.

Fuckity-fuck fuck fuck

11:05 pm. I've developed a tic. My grasp of tax law is tenuous at best. I've had 14 hours of sleep total over the past three nights, contrary to my Rip-Van-Winklesque nature. Tomorrow, I may very well crash and burn on my second exam in a row. I can't even get worked up enough to get upset because even, self-centred... okay, I've lost the energy to even complete this post. I love you all, truly... Being a student is such a bizarre life... I realize that now... wait, I'm getting philosophical better sign off now.